We went straight home from A&E, the dog greeted us nervously, but so pleased we were back, in the confusion he escaped from the garden and went missing for an hour. I find a few remnants of the ambulance visit and hastily clear them away. Later that evening I sit in Mr J's office chair, pondering the day, gazing at the family photos on the walls, being taken back in time, it is a timeline of our life together. If you have seen the Cotton Traders current ad, that reminds me of us many years ago even down to the dog and the house on the beach! When it's on I have to stop and drink it in, remembering those days, The house seems too quiet tonight without him.
Saturday morning arrives, I call the cardiac care unit where Mr J has been moved to. He has had an understandably restless night, hooked up to medications and still on oxygen to help him breathe. He is plastered with electrodes all over his chest where he is constantly monitored remotely and any changes are leapt upon without delay. He has needles plastered to both hands where medications are being administered regularly. He feels rough, battered and bruised and can barely speak.
We go in to visit taking fresh clothes and toiletries, I tell TC we are going to see Daddy, her quizzical face is puzzled why Daddy is here and not with us like every morning of her life so far.
As children we don't remember much until we are around 3, my earliest memories are being left with a child minder whilst my mum went to work, I was 3, TC is just over 2, she will have no memory of of this moment in time being anything but somewhere we go to see Daddy every day for the time being. The next day Mr J is transferred to a private room, TC thinks it's her own private playground.
As the days roll on the hospital visits have become our routine for the day, she knows we are going to see Daddy, she thinks he lives there now I suppose. What goes on in a 2 year olds mind, I have no recollection, sadly, it seems like a great place where life is so simplistic and full of love and laughter. As each day passes Mr J is improving and the relief is welcome for us all, from where he started a few short days ago being so very ill to recovering day by day. He can't be discharged until he has an angiogram, they need to find out why this happened so suddenly without warning, whatever they find they will act upon as necessary, I pray it is minimal.
That day was today, he had a stent put in at lunchtime and will be home later this evening. The scariest thing I learnt today was that his blood oxygen level at the time of collapse was 40%, I'm told this is incompatible with life and he is a walking miracle, someone, somewhere was watching over him. Today it was measured at 98%! I have bought a monitor for measuring blood oxygen saturation just for my peace of mind.
TC will have a lovely surprise tomorrow morning when she wakes up, I can't wait to see her face.