It all started with my laptop drinking a cup of tea. rotten luck seems to start somewhere and then continues on its track upsetting the applecart as it trips you up over and over in varying degrees.
This takes me to Friday afternoon, 2pm to be precise, Mr J working from home, takes a conference call to the USA. He asks me to keep TC occupied so she doesn't try to find Daddy and interrupt the important call. We comply.
A few minutes later I hear an unfamiliar noise, a crashing, a banging, what's going on, I peek into the office and see Mr J struggling for breath, I slam the door open, he is staggering and rapidly going blue. I grab the phone, disconnect the transatlantic line and dial 999 to call an ambulance, the next few minutes goes by in a blur of me telling Mr J to breathe but it's clear he is moments from stopping breathing.
The ambulance arrives and the paramedics swing into action, they have a professional calmness in the crisis that has unfolded which is reassuring and within minutes he is in the ambulance. I ran back into the house where TC is contained safely in her cot to reassure her with a smile and a lightness of voice that everything is ok while inside the adrenalin is pumping around my system making me a little too hyper.
I take TC into the kitchen with a view to making her a snack, keeping her routine going until we can go to the hospital. Looking out of the kitchen window I see the ambulance still parked at the bottom of the drive, why isn't it gone, I don't like it. TC is now in her high chair, I run out of the house, banging on the ambulance, asking if everything is ok, my nerves on high alert. The paramedic calmly tells me he has deteriorated further and they are "working on him" and minutes later they are gone, flashing lights and sirens a blaze ....
I try to keep my thoughts high and busy myself with getting TC ready to go out, we make our way to the hospital, I am numb at the thought of what might be and just concentrate on being mummy. We arrive at A&E and the receptionist leaves her post to take us through, she goes to talk to the doctors and nurses, they all peer at me through the glass, this is making me very nervous, I feel the tears rising from behind my eyes. The receptionist comes out and takes us to a side room to wait, I've been in one of these side rooms before. I grab her arm asking her "is he ok?" she can't tell me, ok "is he still alive???" "Of course, of course, yes!" Thank goodness, relief washes over me.
I remove us from the side room, I can only take a few minutes there, we stand outside the emergency room and wait.... A nurse comes out after a few minutes and wants to prepare me for what is to come, I'm not really listening, I just want to see him.... He is covered in wires and an oxygen mask and looks bewildered, I take his hand, he squeezes it. TC looks at him a little worried, the nurses pounce on her with an oxygen mask to play with and stickers that say morphine on them, she plays happily oblivious to her daddy's plight. He is very "poorly" they tell me, downplaying the obvious magnitude of the situation before me.
He has suffered a heart attack.
The next few hours would be crucial....