No, no & thrice no!

There's been a discussion with my friends lately about saying no to our babies.  I had enough of the "no" word when I was a child.  It was more of a don't do this, don't do that, put that down, pick that up, no, no & thrice no!  I try to use more positive phrases instead of using negative ones where I can but there is a point sometimes where its just got to be a "no".   Turning a phrase round can keep the positive edge to it though & hopefully Baby Chick will take that in.  

I do try to distract Baby Chick where possible by engaging her in another task, but as I said in a previous post, she loves handing me things now so I can get anything dangerous she may procure, thankfully she hasn't had anything too bad yet as I've put shelves up high & all the stuff that she shouldn't have or I don't want chewed/ripped, etc are safe... for now!

I'm also hoping that her next new word won't be NO, its very cute to hear a toddler say no but only if the child is not yours, so cute then, but if you live with a child that perpetually says no because thats all they have heard I would think it would be hard work to get them to stop using it for everything!   The word I'm finding most effective is Stop! & she does, I think you do need a word that brings them up sharp if they are heading for danger.  I remember my dad telling me about one such time with me (I don't remember it) when I was about 3, we went for a few days at the seaside from London where we lived & so excited was I to see the sea, I ran out of the guest house & pelted straight for the main road so I could get to the beach.  He yelled STOP! & thankfully saved me from getting run over as I was just on the kerb!  Thanks Dad x

Please don't get me wrong, I never say never & have had to say no a few times (I draw the line at letting the dog lick her hand then letting her lick it too!), but I feel the negativeness is draining, saying no all the time must have some effect on one's psyche.  I know it would make my head ache if I had to keep saying it.    I need her to know good from bad, right from wrong, nice people from mean people, but I also want her to have a blissful childhood with as many positive experiences as I can squeeze in before she grows up in the blink of an eye.  I give her a lot of free rein at home, having scanned the place for non-baby stuff (e.g. my stuff!) on what seems an hourly basis & do a lot of clearing up after her but she enjoys herself so much & as long as she's safe I'm happy & if I'm happy everyone's happy :))  She is learning so much every day & I don't want to stifle her enthusiasm & joie de vivre!

As she gets older I know I will have to negotiate more with her as it can't be yes to everything, but for now its definitely not a no (ooo I do love a double negative!) - I hope I can keep it up!

How do you handle the no's?
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8 comments:

  1. Throughout her year of being 2, my daughter's most oft used word was no. She'd say no to everything I asked her. Usually, she'd then demand that very thing after having shown her authority by saying no to it first. Just as I was beginning to hate it, she stopped.

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    1. I'm so glad to hear it will stop Midlife Singlemum! I've been thru this all before but it was all so long ago & this girl is like me, questions everything lol!!

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  2. Like you I try to restrict the 'nos' and as they get older you can make 'yes' dependent on certain behaviour. So they get a yes if they behave themselves while we're doing something. Sometimes you have to say no when they're doing something dangerous or obviously naughty but I agree it can be dispiriting hearing it all the time. My parents used to say 'we'll see' which was actually a 'no' so I hated it when they said that. My 2yo's over-used word is 'no' she says it to everything! I think that's just 2yos though...

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    1. I'm always telling her she's a good girl & trying to highlight the good behaviour & its so very hard sometimes not to say no, especially to that high pitched scream she loves to do! I'll let you know how I get on in 6 months when she hits 2!

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  3. My wee girl said yes to everything first - even bed time! Recently she's discovered the power of, "No!" but I think it's a lot to do with the control that she gets out of it. It's the first and easiest way for many children to take those first independent steps. My son was the same but yes, they do grow out of it. Good luck with your positivity. It's definitely the best way to be if you can.

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    1. on saying no...its a bit like chocolate, I try not to eat it but sometimes I just have to! I think you're right about the control part, its a shame none of us remember being 2 :)

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  4. This is a great post. I try to reserve no for the important stuff but thats a challenge. Stop is a great alternative word!

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    1. thats exactly right for me too, reserving it for when it matters, well, thats the plan anyway :))

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